This year I did not right anything because I had just had nothing to write about, I do not know why maybe its things that I went through or I just wanted to write something meaning full. This year has been good.
The reason I wrote today its because I wanted to share how much I have change and matured on my 31first year. My maturity has not been completely my wisdom but when you have God in your life and you let Him mold you each day, each month and each year. This change is a bit by bit at least for me there were times I thought I was not becoming the woman I desire to be but after this long road I see the change and this does not that I have reached where I want to be but it means I believe more in my change I am not depressed by the smallest mistake I make, I am not affected by people's thoughts and judgments about you know people some think you are loosing your faith, weak not a woman of God because you not going to church as many times used to anymore or you do not do this and that and on and on. I am not affected by the staff anymore I do not let anyone put me down even if they seem to not trust me I trust me and I will never give up on Nandipha even if my own sister would I will not do that because I want to prove to any body but I will not give up on myself because I have seen that if you seek change especially in God you will receive and like everything else in life we fight for there will be those times that instead of changing you are taking the wrong turn but do not and I say do not agree with that thought but look at the mirror and say I am a woman of God and God's will prevails in my life not my will and not the devil's will. If you are doing something that you know its not the will of God and have no strength to stop plead with God and you will see yourself being far from the temptation and it will be easier to deny yourself that thing you desire so much. Involving God and being sincere with Him even its not easy to admit your weakness to Him you know sometimes we think I have been a Christian so long I should not be having trouble with this and that but the truth we do find ourselves having thoughts we should not be having or even behavior and we need to address those issues before they become powerful and destroy us. Sometimes we lie to ourselves saying we have everything under control nothing is under control until God controls it. So in your weak moments have faith for change and God who is faith will make you strong, being strong is not always noticeable and being weak also is not always noticeable so do not be put down when you know that you are overcoming your spiritual battles and someone comes and say are you fine, are you sure that the devil trying to put doubt in your heart. Trying to say you are weak you need help run to someone who is going to lift you up, but I ask you now how many times are going to be running to someone for help when are you going to face the God you say you believe and say God you talked to Abraham, you talked to that woman of God or man of God I want to ask for advice from when are you going to talk to me when am I going my relationship with you. This has been my faith till now. I also learnt not to do what is expected of me but what I have strength to do and desire to do, I can not do the work of God complaining that's I am tired, I have no money and all the other things you do so that you can belong to the group that is holy and God fearing. I am done with that its either God changes me or I decide to change but I will not play church and I will be real and if no one loves the real Nandipha that person has to hold on because my God is working and when I reach that point I am the way they expect me to be then they will be happy with me but till then Nandipha has no time to pretend.
What I have noticed is that when you force change you end up doing the changing which normally does not last but when you put your faith in God and work toward overcoming your weakness it becomes a lot easier to change and you just lose the desire to do that thing you could not stay with out that's my experience with God.
I have a lot to learn and change but I trust my God to help me where I need help and I believe that He will not only change me but all those who come in contact with me will know Him.
God bless you until next time I have something meaningful to write.